Some Pharisees came to Jesus to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
God has a plan. Although His plan is clear, not many people follow it. The Mosaic Law is not given as an indication of God’s approval of divorce. The law was given because people were divorcing despite God’s plan. So, He graciously provided a way to lessen the consequences in society with protective statutes to ease the suffering of those affected by divorce.
The law is the minimum standard. It is not the goal; it is not the ideal. Jesus reminds us of God’s plan. Marriage is holy, and the bond is not to be broken. Yet, Jesus permits divorce in one situation – when there has been adultery.
A woman came for counseling because she wanted a divorce. When asked if she had biblical grounds for divorce she sorrowfully replied, “No.” There are times when people are in a terrible marriage relationship, and they want out. But, as believers, they know adultery is the only biblical grounds for divorce. In situations like this, it becomes tempting to hope that their spouse will commit adultery and give them grounds to end the marriage. But God makes it abundantly clear in scripture that if, for our own selfish reasons, we try to encourage someone towards sin, we sin ourselves. While it may not be a conscious plan, still “if I can make the relationship as undesirable and unfulfilling as possible, perhaps my spouse will find someone else and divorce me. Then, my spouse will be the one to answer to God.” This doesn’t work because God sees and knows the “deceitfully wicked” human heart.
Why would Jesus permit divorce in the case of adultery when God’s plan was for marriage to be a lasting union? Jesus spoke in the context of people who knew that the penalty for adultery was death. We tend to forget or ignore this. But Jesus was speaking to people who would bring Him a woman caught in adultery and ask, “Shouldn’t we stone this woman? Moses says this woman should be stoned to death.” Adultery is the only basis on which we can divorce and remarry someone else. Certainly, divorce is less severe than the death penalty.
Is there any other situation in which I could remarry? If my spouse dies, I am free to remarry. If she commits adultery, what has she just done? Legally speaking, she has just condemned herself to death. She is in no position to talk about marital rights. This is the context in which Jesus speaks.
Still, when Jesus says adultery is the only grounds for divorce, He isn’t saying if your spouse commits adultery, you must divorce. He was permitting divorce. We also need to understand that the death penalty is simply a reflection of the much more severe ultimate penalty for sin. Even the death penalty is a small thing compared with God’s eternal wrath.
In I Corinthians 6:9 and 10, we read: “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” This is straightforward. Do not be deceived; people who live like this won’t go to heaven.
Jesus says in Matthew 10:28: “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” We think of sin as if it were some little deviation – not a big deal. We’re all sinners. Even little children are taught to confess to being sinners, guilty of violating God’s commands. Children don’t do anything wrong of great consequence, do they? If we’re all sinners, then sin isn’t so bad, is it? Yes, God says it is so bad.
Sin is so bad that when Jesus was held guilty for our sins, God turned his back on Him. He cried out on the cross, “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?” Sin is a big deal. Sin is deadly. Sin will destroy.
This is why when Jesus speaks to people, He shows us God’s pattern. People see that they don’t measure up. Jesus offers grace, but His grace is a grace that changes us. It does not leave us in our sin. Praise the Lord!
By: Pastor Jim Wood, Founder of Wears Valley Ranch
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