Some Pharisees came to Jesus to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
When Susan and I were first married, we spent two years as houseparents to fourteen boys at a children’s home in Mississippi. We only had one boy in our home who had lost both parents to death; we had several others who had lost one parent, but most of the children had been orphaned by the death of a marriage. The breakup of the family made it impossible for these children to live at home any longer. In many cases there was alcoholism and other substance abuse, but in some cases it was simply that the parents didn’t want the responsibility of caring for their children. I houseparented and taught Bible and Church History at the private academy.
One day, a student in my eighth-grade class asked, “Is it a sin to get a divorce and marry someone else?” I hadn’t come to class anticipating this question, but fortunately God was there. He began to recall to my mind a number of scriptures, which the class looked at together. I wrote the references on the chalkboard and said, “Let’s look at these passages and see what God says about divorce.”
We read Matthew 19:1-12. I turn to this chapter repeatedly whenever I lead marriage conferences. We see from these verses that God has a plan for marriage. God’s plan in Jesus’ day is the same plan he had at the very beginning – one man and one woman united for life. Nothing has changed in God’s plan since these words were written.
The most superficial reading of the scriptures makes it very clear that God knows that people don’t fulfill his plan very often. Throughout the scriptures, we read of man’s failure to walk in the way God has ordained. We see that as we fail to do the will of God, there are painful consequences, not only for us but also for others. Sometimes we suffer because of our own sin, but we often suffer because of someone else’s sin. Suffering is a part of this life.
God is not to blame for our suffering. God has given us a perfect law, and if everyone would obey his commands, there wouldn’t be any suffering. But, what if I obey God’s law and you don’t? If either of us disobeys God’s law, there will be suffering. The tragedy is that you don’t obey God’s law, and I don’t either. The result is an awful lot of suffering and pain.
Jesus talks about the Mosaic Law in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:31,32: “Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.” Then, he emphasizes the intent of the law: “But, I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness causes her to become an adulteress. Anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.” This is the bottom-line reality of God’s intention in giving the law.
In my discussion with the class, we also looked at Mark 10:1-12; Luke 16:18; and Romans 7:2,3. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 and 39, we read:
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
~ Pastor Jim Wood, Founder of Wears Valley Ranch
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